Requested...Milk and Gabriella's first day of Kindergarten

This post was originally sent out on August 13 to friends in an email. It's been added here for some who've asked to read it.

Yesterday my Gabriella began Kindergarten. She was so excited that she got up at 6:30 AM ready to get dressed and go to school. When I picked her up she was just as excited talking non stop telling me all about her day. She talked about making "space bubbles" in gym class and meeting the music teacher whose name is "hard to say so we just call her Mrs. H.". She told me about a boy in her class from Japan and a new friend she played with but couldn't remember her name. She showed me her papers and talked about working on her numbers and "really" learning her alphabet (although she's really known them since she was about 1 year old!).

I thought I was ready for her to go, all prepared. I did OK. But when I walked out of the building I realized all I really wanted to do was call my Mom and talk about it. Sending Gabriella to school was easier than I expected. Doing it without being able to call my Mom about it was brutal. I needed her humor, reassuring words and support. I wanted to share that milestone with her.

Mom loved school so much. She would go out each fall and buy school supplies for herself-even in recent years. She loved colored pencils, twistable crayons and color books (which, by the way, she asked me to buy for her just 2 weeks before she died!)-always creating!

Dad and I cried together. Rob and I cried together. We ALL needed her yesterday.

So, we begin this first new chapter of life without Mom. I wonder if this is how it will be at each first to come...school programs, games, field trips, birthday parties, graduations...I can't imagine I'll ever really get used to doing any of this without being able to talk to Mom. You see, talking to Mom always validated any experience I'd have or was looking forward to. I'm sure I miss her more today than 8 weeks ago.

Well, I'm off to get the oil changed in the car and pick up milk. Life continues. I hope you have a great day-whatever chapter you are in.

Later.
I did leave one thing out of the previous email and after 30 rock solid minutes on the treadmill, the Lord has instructed me to let you know about it. The Lord showed me it was OK to ask you to weep with me while I was weeping, but I failed to ask you to rejoice with me too. Paul says, "Rejoice in the Lord always, again, I say rejoice." He said it twice-must be that even then people needed to be reminded as I was today. But, Lord, my Mom...yes, rejoice. But, Lord, I can't call her...yes, rejoice. "Cast your burden on me...I will sustain you." He reminded me gently that He is my all. He is my comfort, my strength, my shelter, the lifter of my head. During some crying moments yesterday, Ethan (3), came up to me with a tissue and said, "I want to wipe your tears". Precious. A little picture of God's love. So, may we all be encouraged today. How great is God's goodness which He has stored up for those of us who love and fear Him. He also reminded me that I will have all eternity to share these milestones that Mom is missing. And who knows, maybe just maybe she can peak over and see a few of these moments herself. I like to think so. Enough devotions for today. But I am learning constantly and hope you are too.